This scares me to talk about, it’s really hard

I want to be open and raw here.  I’ve not really been me for quite some time.  I’ve been trying to do this and that and the other, everything EVERYBODY else has been doing and saying.  trying to replicate this, replicate that, and it’s slowly been killing me, the real me.  I don’t even know who I am anymore.  I’ve paid for classes, read books, sat through countless hours of training and I just don’t feel like anything has clicked.  Why, Why? Have I just not found what feels good for me, what feels natural, does that even exist?  Maybe nothing out there is my thing, maybe I need to find my own thing, find what works for me.  What worked for me in the past before I started looking to gurus and paying for instructors to tell me do this and this in these steps and this will happen?

I get so frustrated when I read about the latest success and how it was achieved and then I do the same thing and nothing happens, nothing!  what is wrong with me? Why can’t I be like her or him or this one over there? I am wasting my time, spinning my wheels trying to figure that out.  All I can do is try I guess, NEVER trying will NEVER get results that’s for sure.  So what was the struggle with my latest endeavor you might ask?  Well, it was so out of my comfort zone, I struggled like a mouse trying to get the cheese to the end of a maze for a free piece of cheese.  I wanted the result, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do what I needed to do, I couldn’t go through the maze.

The thing is I need to write some emails, I needed to write them in a way that made people feel like crap, like their lives were crap and going to just continue to keep getting crappier unless they contacted me and got some help.  Help with what you might ask, well help with depression, exhaustion, insomnia, headaches, bad health, unexplained weight gain and even problems keeping relationships at home and at work, kids out of control, marriages headed for divorce, emotional imbalances and more.  It was part of my job to convince people that all of this was just going to continue to get worse, maybe they’d lose their job or end up in divorce.  That was the hard part.

I wasn’t comfortable telling people their lives were crappy and horrible.  I had a really hard time trying to tell them that things were just going to get worse not better.  I am the type of person who likes to candy coat everything.  I like to look on the bright side of things; even when there really isn’t a bright side.  I’m always the one to encourage, the one who is looking and trying to find something good in everything and now you want me to tell people they are living a horrible life and it’s probably going to get worse if they don’t change? I found it really hard to write things that really spoke the truth.  Their lives are crappy, they are not going to get better, not unless they make some changes.  They are going to continue having trouble on the job, they may lose their job.  They are going to continue to have problems in their family and often in the marriage or other relationships and it’s possible they may end up in a divorce.

What if I could tell you that this is all a side effect of TOXICITY?  Toxins in our food, in the air, in personal body products, in the environment, even toxic relationships.  Call me crazy, but a toxic relationship can stress us out and did you know that same stress can often result in sickness and disease? When our body is stressed our body naturally wants to help out and if we are overly stressed or become stressed too often or for longer period of times our body’s natural defense to help us out of that stress actually backfires.  It works so hard on that stress that it can’t help other parts of our body, it can’t keep up, it has to let something else go in order to try to keep up with our stress level.  when something else goes, guess what?  We get sick, our immune system becomes weak, we start to get depressed or fatigued, we suffer from insomnia.  Not getting enough sleep causes other problems, it’s an ongoing cycle.

See what I mean; this is serious, I don’t know how to wake people up to the fact that if this is already sounding like your life and you are saying this is me, right now, I have insomnia, I’m sick, I am frustrated and depressed, I can’t handle things like I used to, I feel like anxiety is controlling my life, what is wrong with me?  It’s a real fact folks, I hear this more and more from people. I do have answers and I do know what is causing a lot of this.  It’s call TOXIC poisoning.  Toxins are lurking in places you would really be surprised to find.  We are poisoning ourselves pretty much every time we light up a candle, every time we buy our favorite perfume, when we spray our homes with all those favorite smells we like, plug in those fragrance outlets, spray that can of mountain fresh air or Hawaiian breezes.  One of the number one toxins in our homes and work places come from artificial fragrances. Artificial fragrances are some of the most harmful chemicals ever!

Artificial fragrances can be attributed to headaches, migraines, inflammations, respiratory issues, hormonal imbalances which result in infertility, emotional issues, depression, inability to cope, anxiety and more.  There is so much more out there that is harming people wreaking havoc on our health and people are just buying into all of it and getting sick. The only ones who profit from this are the Doctors and pharmaceutical companies; makers of more TOXIC chemicals I might add.

So, I have made it my job to try to bring awareness about all of this to people.  How do I best do this? I don’t know.  I took the class that instructed me to send out emails and try to make people feel like crap and I was the one who felt like crap. It was a horrible winter I might add, long, grey, and cold. I would literally stare out the window and find myself just blank, and feeling depressed. Depressed because I did not feel l have been doing a very good job to get my message out there. To get people to notice and to pay attention.

I post about how well I feel and how healthy I have been since I kicked all those TOXINS out of my home and away from my family. I talk about how I have managed to pretty much live TOXIC free in my home and how I have ditched TOXINS for more natural plant based products.  I talk about my DIY and how i make most of my beauty products like shampoo, facial products and more.  I posted about a new line of TOXIC free mineral makeup I started using last summer and how most of the make up sold over the counter is so highly toxic.  I’ve written plenty about TOXINS, where they hide out and what they do to us.

I post about it on my blog whenever I can.  I have a Facebook page and a Secret Group where I share all the things I discover about TOXIC CHEMICALS.  I talk about it on Instagram, Google+ and in person and I still don’t think people are listening.  I really have got to the point where I think no one is really listening and I don’t know how to get them to listen.  What is really disheartening is that I feel like I talk a lot about TOXINS and making healthier choices a lot.  Then I see a friend post something about not realizing how they need to get TOXINS out of their life and they are on the next fad of a pink drink, a meal replacement or a new exercise regimen guaranteed to help them lose the weight forever. I want to just scream, what am I doing wrong, have you not been reading my post, do you not see me, hey there, yes you haven’t you been listening? I don’t know what more to do?? HH–EEE—LL—PPP !! Trying to make people feel bad about their lives just isn’t natural for me, yet I want to help open up peoples eyes to all the harmful things out there and how simple it is to avoid them or get rid of them.  If you knew a better way to do something wouldn’t you want to tell everyone?  I know of so many simple ways live better, and healthier and I am sad that I really feel like no one is listening, no one takes this stuff seriously.  Don’t you want to know?  I sure did, I found out and now I want to let everyone else know about it too.  What do you suggest is the best way to get what’s on my heart out there so people will listen?

Like I said, trying to send out emails full of scare tactics is not me, it scare me to even write them.  I start shaking and get all sweaty and I can’t seem to even make my fingers type the words.  What can I do, I need suggestions, I need help. Like I said, I’m scared to write those emails and send them out.  This is really hard for me to talk about, I hate admitting I’m scared.  I want to share what I know about TOXINS, I want to help people, I know how it is to be so full of TOXICITY that I was sick.  I know how it is to experience fatigue, insomnia and anxiety. I used to live in a sea of toxins, I used to be really sick all the time.  Now I’m happy to say I have not seen a doctor or been sick in over 6 years, I’m medication free and feel the best that I ever have. I want to share all of this, I just don’t know how. I don’t want another guru to tell me what to do. I want some people who are really experiencing effects of TOXINS to start asking me how I did it.  I want people who feel like crap asking me for help, I want to help them to feel better, I want to walk them through it, I want to see them feeling better not crappier. But, I don’t know what to do, I’m scared, I don’t know where to start, how to do it or what type of approach is really going to hit peoples hearts. I really need some feedback on this I really do.